Welcome Back - Season 3

[00:00:05] Welcome to the Man Up, Man Down podcast presented by Volker Balluda and David Pawsey.

[00:00:12] We discuss the pressures and challenges faced by men approaching middle age that we're

[00:00:16] often too embarrassed to speak about with our friends.

[00:00:20] You can find us online at www.manupdown.com.

[00:00:26] Enjoy the show and don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review.

[00:00:30] Welcome to another episode of Man Up, Man Down.

[00:00:40] The first episode in Season 3, first big change is...

[00:00:45] Well some of you might notice, some of you won't but we're here in Vision 3D.

[00:00:51] I'm wearing my Keith Richards t-shirt and the quintessential middle-aged hero for clean living.

[00:01:00] But yeah, we're on video so that reference won't have made much sense if you are just listening to the audio version.

[00:01:11] But yeah, get over to YouTube or wherever.

[00:01:15] Or we'll do this show up on Spotify. I know it does with Stephen Bartlett, doesn't it?

[00:01:20] Yeah, to be honest, I do not know. It's my honest answer and I should have researched it.

[00:01:25] I was questioning that myself because we're using Acast as a server and Acast and YouTube don't play nicely together.

[00:01:32] Which is why we can't upload our audio to YouTube audio at the moment.

[00:01:39] So this is really pulling back the curtain to the exciting things that we have to think about in publishing the podcast.

[00:01:49] So bottom line is if you want to watch us in flesh on video, head over to our new YouTube channel.

[00:01:59] This is the mouse poll, isn't it?

[00:02:02] Which is of course youtube.com forward slash at menupmannedown.com.

[00:02:07] No, not menupmannedown.com, it's at menupmannedown I think.

[00:02:11] We of course put it in the show notes.

[00:02:15] I set it up the other day, which means we continue to your question about Spotify.

[00:02:21] We continue to upload to Spotify and Apple Podcasts and all the other outlets you're listening to via Acast,

[00:02:28] which will be solely audio for the time being.

[00:02:31] Because we still have a lot of episodes pre-recorded that are audio only.

[00:02:36] So first half of the season is probably a pick and mix of, you know,

[00:02:41] you find some of the episodes as a video version on YouTube

[00:02:46] and the majority is probably going to be audio.

[00:02:49] But it's going to be still great content, right?

[00:02:54] They might just watch this video and then insist that we make them all audio only going forward.

[00:03:01] I mean, you remember our first episode when you said you had a face for radio, right?

[00:03:05] Yeah.

[00:03:06] Obviously I was being incredibly ironic.

[00:03:10] The judgment is up then, no?

[00:03:14] But this is obviously one of those rare occasions where we're actually recording the episode.

[00:03:20] I've just realised I'm recording.

[00:03:22] I've got a can of air freshener up there.

[00:03:24] Should remove that from my carefully curated backdrop.

[00:03:30] Just obviously, I'm going to get the doors.

[00:03:32] Anyway, we don't need to discuss why I've got air freshener in here.

[00:03:37] I don't need to know.

[00:03:38] I mean, you know, I don't even know what's underneath your desk either.

[00:03:45] We could do a house tour at some point.

[00:03:48] I have a foot massage on my desk.

[00:03:51] That's my secret.

[00:03:54] Yeah.

[00:03:54] There was one of these.

[00:03:56] I always buy gadgets and I love gadgets as most people know why not.

[00:04:01] And I want myself a foot massager so I can just sit here having a very serious conversation.

[00:04:06] That's getting my feet nicely massaged.

[00:04:08] Very nice in the winter, particularly when you get cold feet.

[00:04:12] So yeah, that's my secret.

[00:04:17] One of the things that you've said is that we shouldn't speak so much about ourselves.

[00:04:22] You're like, oh, you know, people, I think people do want to hear more about, you know, our little quarks and excited to our lives.

[00:04:31] And, you know, and that's once again, that's another nice little insight that we've gotten into your life there.

[00:04:38] Yeah, I don't like sharing these things.

[00:04:41] I don't want to over share.

[00:04:42] I don't want to bore people with, you know, my boring life.

[00:04:45] You know, I'm happily share, you know, get gadgets.

[00:04:48] I can talk about gadgets all day long.

[00:04:50] I mean, my best.

[00:04:53] My best ever had a heated desk met for the cold winter months when you get into the office and you have cold hands in the morning and you put them down on this heated desk met.

[00:05:07] I just put my hands down my trousers for half an hour before work.

[00:05:13] If that works for you.

[00:05:18] So anyway, well, yeah, what I was going to say is it's one of those rare occasions where we're actually recording relatively close to when we're publishing, which doesn't doesn't happen that often.

[00:05:28] So, but we, you know, we should quickly get some sort of politics.

[00:05:33] I mean, for a start, I thought I thought us patriots had run all you immigrants out of the country.

[00:05:40] What are you still doing?

[00:05:42] What?

[00:05:45] I'm talking about the riots.

[00:05:47] Are you in the Nigel Farage camp now?

[00:05:51] No, no, no.

[00:05:52] Yeah, well, that's the thing apparently he really hates it when you refer to it as the Farage riots.

[00:05:59] So we should just keep referring to it as the Farage riots.

[00:06:03] I mean, that man is a best earning MP in the country.

[00:06:08] He's not stupid, you know, he's married to a German. I mean, for starters, you know,

[00:06:12] I can't believe it.

[00:06:16] But yeah, I mean, I'm sort of the area that I'm from originally is, well, it is very near Clacton where he's the MP.

[00:06:25] And I saw a great name earlier saying basically if you want to, you know, Clacton is the best place to be if you want to avoid Nigel Farage.

[00:06:33] Because he doesn't seem to be spending much time in his constituencies more time over in the States with Donald at the moment.

[00:06:41] Seriously, it's over there.

[00:06:43] Yeah, but anyway, anyway, let's get that. I think that's enough politics.

[00:06:48] No, no, let's look at US politics if you haven't seen it yet.

[00:06:55] Michelle Obama did a speech on Monday Tuesday.

[00:07:00] Yeah.

[00:07:01] And I, you know, I only read the FT so sorry, sorry for everyone who reads anything else.

[00:07:08] But yeah, I mean that was fucking brilliant.

[00:07:12] I mean, you know, that if I know could I'm not good in paraphrasing and remembering things, but she was talking about, you know, does someone like Trump actually want the job of a president because it seems to be a black person's job.

[00:07:26] Yes, yeah, yeah.

[00:07:28] And I'm like, fucking hell she's saying that she's fucking brilliant. That's what we need to hear.

[00:07:33] Or that's what American friends of ours need to hear.

[00:07:36] Well, yeah, I mean, one of the things that I read is that they're sort of, they're finally learning how to deal.

[00:07:45] It's like you can't argue with Trump's argument with sense and logic.

[00:07:51] So you've got to come back with emotive kind of things and a lot, a lot.

[00:07:57] They keep referring referring to him as weird. It's like, oh, he's Obama thinks that he's got a weird obsession with with crowd numbers at his rallies and an old coach the anyway.

[00:08:10] Yeah, I've, I've, he's not behind a glass wall. That says it all.

[00:08:15] I think, you know, the master stroke, well, no master stroke, but they have to get rid of Biden because, you know, suddenly it now completely eliminates the, well, you know, it is some of the Trumps, the senile old man that's in the race.

[00:08:34] Yeah, I mean, yeah, Biden was, yeah, bless him.

[00:08:39] I think he's done the service for his country.

[00:08:42] I salute him. That's something I can do now. I can salute right with people seeing it rather than just be in audio.

[00:08:49] You know, there's so many more things we can bring in, you know, I can show Arnie more to later.

[00:08:54] Yes, yeah. Well, I think Archie's already barked up the stairs.

[00:08:58] Yeah, I have him parking.

[00:09:00] Yeah.

[00:09:01] So what do we have in stock for season three?

[00:09:03] Oh no, that was my part. You were supposed to ask that, weren't you?

[00:09:05] Yeah, sorry, so Volker, what is it that we've got lined up for season three?

[00:09:10] So we've been busy. So in German efficiency style, we recorded lots of videos and audios over the last few months.

[00:09:20] So we're starting this season with, if I say my all time favorite on suicide prevention, Rose Rokens.

[00:09:29] So it's suicide awareness week or day on the 10th of September, I believe.

[00:09:35] And Rose is talking to us about that. So I'm really looking forward to getting that episode live.

[00:09:43] Ian is coming back in Saunders, talking about his diagnosis of prostate cancer.

[00:09:50] I think something we all need to think about in our middle age life.

[00:09:55] So that's kind of like two heavy ones to get on a go early on in season three.

[00:10:02] We then finally have Alex Walton, the kind mind method which we recorded ages ago and apologies, Alex, if you listen to this one.

[00:10:09] Then we didn't get it out sooner. But this sometimes happens, right?

[00:10:16] We then going to have topics like self hate and self mastery, trauma, mental health first aid, mindset movement.

[00:10:29] Oh, that was Sal, wasn't it?

[00:10:31] That was Sal. I met him in person not too long ago actually.

[00:10:38] So great guy actually. I think we need to, I mean, we're getting now to the stage that we start having people back.

[00:10:46] Well being in the workplace, if I say an evergreen topic but greatly presented by Glenn.

[00:10:54] Another charity on suicide prevention.

[00:11:00] Regaining middle age men's strengths, flexibility and well being and martial arts. Dave Matthews.

[00:11:08] No, Dave Matthew Ferguson.

[00:11:10] That's correct.

[00:11:12] Sleep part two is coming with James Wilson.

[00:11:15] Oh man yeah.

[00:11:17] Now I'm going to have to say that I'm going through an awful period of insomnia.

[00:11:22] I think it's almost like, I don't know, whenever we interview him, I seem to be going through a decent period of sleep.

[00:11:31] And then literally within weeks of interviewing him, I seem to go through crazy insomnia.

[00:11:37] But yeah, I need to listen to that again myself to improve my sleeping.

[00:11:45] I was going to say if one puts you to sleep I can promise you that.

[00:11:48] No, no. It's far too exciting for that.

[00:11:50] We have another second appearance, William Porter.

[00:11:56] He's booked in, he's coming back. Looking forward to that episode.

[00:12:01] Anita Muldster is coming back.

[00:12:04] Looking forward to that episode.

[00:12:07] Willification of men.

[00:12:09] That is actually a topic I come across recently a lot discussing with people.

[00:12:17] It's out there.

[00:12:18] So the man two movement, hashtag man two is growing.

[00:12:23] Very interesting. I really like it.

[00:12:27] And then what else do we have? We have a few things lined up.

[00:12:31] Golden handcuffs in mid-life.

[00:12:35] We have a couple of new charities coming on.

[00:12:38] I just recently confirmed menfulness and Andy's Men Club to charities that have been named many, many times.

[00:12:46] Yeah, Andy's Men Club has been mentioned quite a lot.

[00:12:53] So yeah, it would be great to finally speak to those guys.

[00:12:57] So looking forward to that.

[00:13:01] I think you're perhaps missing off the big one.

[00:13:05] The live event, the live recording.

[00:13:08] I left that to last.

[00:13:11] Have I stolen your thunder?

[00:13:13] No, no, no. That's all right. I'm just looking.

[00:13:17] I'm literally looking through the list of topics we have confirmed and which ones we haven't confirmed.

[00:13:22] And we have endropause and testosterone is going to be out there again, something that came up a lot recently.

[00:13:32] So yeah, so there's a lot happening.

[00:13:38] Yeah, what should I say? I'm excited.

[00:13:41] And I'm excited for so many reasons because when I spoke to...

[00:13:47] I'm hoping, I'm sure he doesn't mind.

[00:13:51] When I spoke to...

[00:13:55] No, who did I speak to? There we go.

[00:13:59] Jack from Menfulness.

[00:14:05] It was so eye-opening. So Menfulness is a charity or soon to be charity in York.

[00:14:12] So similar to Dead La Soul and slightly different positioning,

[00:14:22] but similar purpose, right? Getting men together, getting men to talk.

[00:14:26] And they're doing life events and they're doing bits and pieces.

[00:14:30] And I'm thinking, I'm sitting here in my neutral position on the podcast.

[00:14:35] And I'm thinking, I'm talking to those guys in York and talk to Dan Flanagan down on the South Coast.

[00:14:42] And I know, and that's why I want to get all these men groups.

[00:14:46] So if any man group is listening here and more men groups send them away,

[00:14:50] I want to get them all connected.

[00:14:52] So I said to Jack, do you know Dan? Yeah, I know Dan and yeah, I've actually no roles.

[00:14:58] She does great stuff on suicide. He works in that similar space.

[00:15:04] These people are all connected whether one or two degrees.

[00:15:08] And I feel like we're sitting in the middle and bringing it together

[00:15:12] and shouting out about...

[00:15:15] In my point of view, heroes, right?

[00:15:18] Everyday heroes who just make our society a better place to live.

[00:15:22] And it sounds a bit cheesy, but I think it's fucking fantastic.

[00:15:28] And I'm very grateful that we can play part of that and give them a voice,

[00:15:32] give them a place to talk about it and hopefully gain, I don't know,

[00:15:38] sponsors or more people that get involved or whatever they need really.

[00:15:46] So that's the bit of why I'm doing it.

[00:15:49] Yeah, and I don't think that's cheesy at all.

[00:15:53] And it's funny that you've said that because I don't think perhaps

[00:15:59] that we've articulated that together because that's sort of something that...

[00:16:05] I've sort of often thought of that, yeah, we are sort of

[00:16:10] in the middle of all these...

[00:16:14] I mean, yeah, I guess I'd say, you know, especially like in context

[00:16:18] of my glib comments that I was making, you know,

[00:16:22] at the start of this episode about immigration and rioting.

[00:16:26] Yeah.

[00:16:27] You know, I'd say that when you see stuff like that on the news

[00:16:31] and well, say on the news, like, you know,

[00:16:36] it was literally just down the road that there's a hotel.

[00:16:41] But I mean, I think it was a similar situation to what it was in Brighton

[00:16:45] where actually, you know, the number of people that were anti-bright,

[00:16:53] you know, yeah, basically,

[00:16:57] thankfully no one was trying to set fire to the hotel full of refugees and Crawley.

[00:17:03] But yeah, you know, you sort of...

[00:17:07] there is a lot of ugliness going on at the moment and...

[00:17:11] Yeah.

[00:17:11] And yeah, you know, I guess like, you know, and obviously the news

[00:17:17] is all about reporting all the negative stuff rather than positive stuff.

[00:17:22] So, yeah, you know, I'd say that sort of, you know, two seasons in,

[00:17:29] you know, with half of season three, if not more recorded,

[00:17:34] it's like well actually there is a lot to be positive about in life and society.

[00:17:41] And, you know, it can often sort of think that...

[00:17:46] Yeah, you know, and I mean, I don't agree with, you know, the politics of it,

[00:17:53] but I can sort of understand why there are sort of lots of people frustrated

[00:18:01] with, you know, with society and there are a lot in society.

[00:18:05] But, you know, and I think the important thing is, you know,

[00:18:09] one of the things that I've learned is actually, well, you know,

[00:18:11] the more you engage and the more, you know, you give without expecting anything in return,

[00:18:19] that's, you know, that's how you make change

[00:18:23] and make a positive contribution to your own life and society in general.

[00:18:28] Yeah. No, I think we're very aligned on that.

[00:18:32] I mean, we, you know, we always said, I mean, there has been our tagline so far, right?

[00:18:37] If we can prevent one suicide, it's worthwhile doing it.

[00:18:40] But I think it goes beyond that, right?

[00:18:43] I mean, it's, yeah, making a positive contribution, basically, that's what we do.

[00:18:52] Hello, folks! It's Volker here.

[00:18:54] I hope you enjoy this week's episode.

[00:18:57] As you know, I coach executives, whether that is for leadership skills

[00:19:01] or sales leadership skills or working as a therapist too.

[00:19:07] There are few ways I can help you to get unstuck, improve your work-life balance

[00:19:11] or become a better version of yourself.

[00:19:14] So you will be more productive and have more time for your family.

[00:19:18] Whatever it is, you can join my client list of people

[00:19:21] from General Electric, Pepsi, DHL, Boots and many others.

[00:19:27] Book a free exploratory call via my website, www.openard.us.

[00:19:34] That's O-B-N-A-T.us.

[00:19:38] Now back to the show.

[00:19:42] So let's talk about the event, David.

[00:19:45] Yes.

[00:19:47] So...

[00:19:47] The event begins off October.

[00:19:49] October, yep.

[00:19:51] Not long to go.

[00:19:51] The Apex Hotel.

[00:19:55] City of London.

[00:19:57] Yep, big one to London.

[00:20:01] But yeah, we're...

[00:20:03] I mean, well, I guess hot exclusive.

[00:20:06] So, as I say, it's at the Apex Hotel.

[00:20:09] So big thanks to them.

[00:20:11] They're giving us the space for free,

[00:20:14] which is incredible,

[00:20:16] which has saved us literally...

[00:20:18] Well, we wouldn't be able to put on the event.

[00:20:22] I mean, we looked at quite a few places in London,

[00:20:26] unsurprisingly.

[00:20:28] It's very ridiculously expensive.

[00:20:34] And luckily, well, we leaned heavily on our contacts,

[00:20:39] but yeah, big thanks to Apex Hotel for providing space.

[00:20:46] Big thanks to Newman,

[00:20:49] who, well, they invited us to appear on their panel.

[00:20:53] Well, they invited us both on there,

[00:20:55] but then said that they could only have the better-looking

[00:20:58] member of the team, so I appeared in that.

[00:21:02] But yeah, Newman of...

[00:21:04] Well, yeah, put quite a bit of money behind it.

[00:21:07] So big thanks to them.

[00:21:09] So those comments might becify another video, by the way, just seeing.

[00:21:13] What do you mean?

[00:21:15] I...

[00:21:19] I...

[00:21:20] No, I think...

[00:21:21] I think it's...

[00:21:23] This is going to be the face that launches a thousand podcast episodes.

[00:21:29] Do you know your Greek mythology?

[00:21:32] No.

[00:21:33] Yeah, I do.

[00:21:35] All right.

[00:21:35] So you got that reference?

[00:21:38] Yeah.

[00:21:38] Yeah, okay.

[00:21:39] I don't know what you said, but I did get a reference.

[00:21:45] But yeah, so we've got...

[00:21:47] Well, yeah, Newman.

[00:21:49] And yeah, tickets are now on sale.

[00:21:52] So we've got a limited number of early bird tickets at £10.

[00:21:59] So, yeah, you know, get involved.

[00:22:02] Oh, and yeah, the first 20 people...

[00:22:05] We haven't officially discussed this, actually.

[00:22:07] We've made an executive decision, but the first 20 tickets we sell will get a free gift as well.

[00:22:14] Oh, cool.

[00:22:15] Which is worth the ticket price itself.

[00:22:19] So I buy my own ticket?

[00:22:21] No, no, what I'll do, I'll make sure there's a couple of extras to go around.

[00:22:28] Very good, very good.

[00:22:29] So anyway, yeah, well, head to...

[00:22:33] Well, have a look at the link in the show notes.

[00:22:35] Because again, we're partnering with our friends at PodLife events.

[00:22:39] I'll say again.

[00:22:41] We partnered with them with the one that we had to cancel.

[00:22:44] Just go to our website, right?

[00:22:48] It's all on the website.

[00:22:50] You can see the speakers.

[00:22:51] So our headline speaker is Mark Conway.

[00:22:54] Mark has been on the podcast.

[00:22:57] Amazing story.

[00:22:58] He's launching his speaking career as well.

[00:23:01] He already has launched.

[00:23:02] He has a great block.

[00:23:06] So he has been a bone victim, you know,

[00:23:08] was literally I think 3% survival chance and yeah.

[00:23:12] Overcoming adversity is his topic.

[00:23:14] You know, no surprise.

[00:23:15] Great guy, great support of the show as well.

[00:23:19] So shout out to you, Mark.

[00:23:22] The second and third person on the panel.

[00:23:26] I don't know if we can announce them yet because there's one person on there that confirmed.

[00:23:33] Subject to childcare.

[00:23:35] I haven't told you that yet, but you know what I'm talking about.

[00:23:39] So we hopefully can announce her very, very shortly.

[00:23:43] Well, there we go.

[00:23:44] It's a woman.

[00:23:47] She has a child.

[00:23:49] Yeah.

[00:23:49] So that rules out probably, I don't know.

[00:23:54] Minority of the population.

[00:23:57] And the other panel member will be Ian Saunders.

[00:24:00] I think we can mention Ian.

[00:24:03] So he'll be on the panel.

[00:24:06] Unless obviously, you know, as we said,

[00:24:09] he's having an episode about prostate cancer.

[00:24:13] And, you know, everything going well, he will be on the panel.

[00:24:15] So that's, you know, can't wait to see him again.

[00:24:19] Again, a lot of people, I at least I know David is always too busy for that.

[00:24:25] I slowly meet them in person as well.

[00:24:27] And it's great to make these human connections.

[00:24:30] We often forget that.

[00:24:31] So if you listen to this podcast, if you like the podcast, come along.

[00:24:35] It's not that expensive.

[00:24:36] Support us and see us in flesh because we want to see you in flesh as well.

[00:24:41] Right now, know that you know what you what we look like, you know, come up to us.

[00:24:45] We're like, oh, I've seen you.

[00:24:47] I've seen you on YouTube.

[00:24:48] You're that YouTube star, aren't you?

[00:24:50] And you might call it and I thought you were.

[00:24:53] I get that a lot.

[00:24:54] David gets the opposite, but we don't talk about that.

[00:24:59] So yes, we're both going to be huge YouTube.

[00:25:02] Well, you're going to be a bigger YouTube star than me because you're obviously a lot taller.

[00:25:08] Yeah.

[00:25:09] And also, I already have my own channel.

[00:25:11] YouTube.com forward slash at obnatus.

[00:25:15] That's you.

[00:25:16] Right.

[00:25:16] Probably guessed.

[00:25:18] You can also find it via at Baluda.

[00:25:20] But anyway, long story.

[00:25:22] It's YouTube is complicated because if you had a username before 20 something, you can't

[00:25:30] use that username as a handle for different account, even if you don't use it as a

[00:25:33] handle on your current account.

[00:25:35] Wow.

[00:25:35] That's all very complicated.

[00:25:37] Fascinating stuff.

[00:25:38] I know.

[00:25:39] So should we learn in life that you never need again when you go to a different planet.

[00:25:45] Anyway, so that's, I think that's all for our season starter.

[00:25:48] I'm looking forward to this season.

[00:25:50] I feel like we've done a lot of groundwork.

[00:25:54] I feel like we've done a lot of conversations over the last two months, two years and

[00:26:00] slowly say slowly coming together.

[00:26:03] It's like coming on its own.

[00:26:04] So I feel good about season three because also it's the end of season three.

[00:26:09] If you believe it or not, we're going to turn a hundred episodes on.

[00:26:14] But more about that in some other solo episodes.

[00:26:17] So we try to bring in more solo episodes, but there's so much good content out there.

[00:26:21] I don't rather talk to other people than David all the time.

[00:26:24] Well, I think, you know, after watching this for 28 minutes, they're like, no,

[00:26:29] just interview interesting people.

[00:26:33] Anyway, yes.

[00:26:35] Well, hopefully we'll see you in just over a month on October the 17th.

[00:26:41] But anyway, please, you know, listen to the podcast.

[00:26:46] Subscribe, like, share, you know, all the stuff that our YouTube is saying.

[00:26:51] Like and subscribe, like and subscribe.

[00:26:54] Hit that like and subscribe button.

[00:26:56] YouTube as well.

[00:26:58] I forgot, right?

[00:27:01] We see all the 17s and, yeah, enjoy this season.

[00:27:06] Let us know what you think.

[00:27:08] Take care.