In this podcast episode, David and Volker engage in a candid and wide-ranging discussion about personal habits, productivity, and the challenges of maintaining New Year's resolutions. The conversation starts with the struggle to maintain New Year's resolutions and the importance of setting realistic goals.
David shares insights into his approach of setting goals rather than resolutions, emphasising the value of looking back at past achievements to inform future objectives. Both highlight the significance of personalised strategies, including the adoption of routines that align with individual lifestyles and values. They discuss the importance of flexibility in goal setting and the necessity of adapting plans as life circumstances change.
Throughout the conversation, they touch upon various strategies for enhancing productivity, such as time blocking, habit stacking, and the benefits of incorporating exercise and mindfulness into daily routines. They also explore the concept of 'mind fasting' as a way to give the brain a break from constant stimulation.
The discussion delves into the importance of not being overly rigid with habits and routines, acknowledging that it's okay to miss a gym session or deviate from a set schedule occasionally. They emphasise the importance of self-care and listening to one's body and mind's needs.
Towards the end, they share personal anecdotes and tips for regaining focus and motivation, suggesting that even a brief commitment to an activity can help overcome inertia. The conversation concludes with encouragement for listeners to find what works best for them and to seek support within their community, including the WhatsApp group from Man Up / Man Down.
Overall, the episode offers a relatable and pragmatic take on managing personal habits, goals, and the challenges of sustaining motivation beyond the initial enthusiasm of New Year's resolutions.
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Man Up, Man Down podcast presented by folk of Beluta and David Pausey.
[00:00:12] We discuss the pressures and challenges faced by men approaching middle age that we're
[00:00:16] often too embarrassed to speak about with our friends.
[00:00:20] You can find us online at www.manupdown.com. We're filming this episode at the start of February. It will go out relatively soon. But we thought we'd just sort of talk about, it's that time of year, you start off January with all these great intentions, I'm gonna do this, gonna cut out that, I'm gonna change this habit, I'm gonna adopt this lifestyle. And basically, we're now, as I say, at the start of February
[00:01:43] and often most people have abandoned.
[00:01:46] They have resolutions or whatever you want to call them. two or three Steve Jobs courts around, but yeah, it is, you know, you can't connect the dots moving forward. You can only connect the dots looking back. That's the one and he is right, right? See, the other court I have on my wall, now we're talking about Steve Jobs and the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world. Other ones who do, right?
[00:03:03] They have two other ones here as well, but we don't want to digress into Steve Jobs.
[00:03:08] So if you've got got back quite underneath'm like, I don't know. I don't because I just want things to fucking work Then my wife got the iPhone and I never looked back So I I joined the revolution and then I read Steve Jobs book His biography which came out obviously after he died and that's when I actually became aware of him and He had a lot of bad sides. I suppose and a lot of good sides. It was really fascinating interesting life and
[00:04:26] You know, so so going to go vegan, I mean, obviously we have the January, you know, draw January. I don't have New Year's resolutions. And I haven't had for a long time because I think it's all bullshit. And, and, you know, I, I, I deliverly big, big controversial here. So I, you know, don't get me wrong.
[00:05:40] I appreciate people go like, Oh, New Year, New Me, I'm going to go to the gym.
[00:05:44] Fucking busy in January.
[00:06:43] you're ready, don't do it because someone else goes like, Oh, new years resolution. Oh, yeah, I got to give up smoking.
[00:06:44] And then, you know, it lasts for two days and then you go like, Oh, I never
[00:06:47] going to get up smoking.
[00:06:48] And then you start having this negative connotation was like, Oh, I can't give up
[00:06:52] smoking.
[00:06:53] Oh, I never got to last.
[00:06:54] And then, you know, that's negative mindset and all that jazz.
[00:06:58] So what I do instead is quarterly planning.
[00:07:02] And I've always done that.
[00:07:03] If I say I've always done that, I've done that for probably 10, 15 years now.
[00:08:07] monthly reminder, it keeps me more than check. So I'm going to almost use the podcast as an example. I mean, there's sort of a theory of smart goals, which I'm sure lots of people have
[00:08:14] heard of, but it's basically you've got to make them specific, you've got to make them measurable,
[00:08:20] you've got to make them sort of achievable slash realistic. So let's talk about that. So we started a community on on WhatsApp. So for now, it's a very simple WhatsApp
[00:09:43] group, which we want to grow into a say WhatsApp community and that come up more and more on the podcast and unfortunately in midlife. So if we can change one life or save one life, we always say that's our job done. Again, digressing a little bit, but bit of marketing is important for the podcast. But yeah, you're absolutely right. We need to plan, right?
[00:11:00] You need to plan the podcast like you plan the business, like you plan, you know, time
[00:11:04] with the kids, time with the family.
[00:11:06] I think everything needs to be planned. time for that. And with Michael Cheese, time blocking became a thing that became very popular over the last few years. And I'm like, wait a second, time blocking? I remember speaking to a friend of mine in 2010. And he said, well, my American colleagues, they put time in their diary
[00:12:20] to work on a PowerPoint. Have you ever done that for a girl? And I said, I have. Is that a problem?
[00:13:23] for whatever reasons, spend time with them in the evening, put it in your diary so it's there.
[00:13:25] You know, I sometimes, I don't know,
[00:13:27] I should admit that, put time in the diary
[00:13:29] for like, I don't know, five o'clock, six o'clock,
[00:13:32] cooked dinner for the family.
[00:13:34] Because if it's not in my diary, it's not in my head.
[00:13:37] So I just work until half six, seven o'clock.
[00:13:41] And then the boys go like, I'm hungry daddy,
[00:13:42] what are we eating?
[00:13:43] And I'm gonna, oh yeah, yeah,
[00:13:46] should we just quickly order something in? balance, your career, all productivity, you want to build a new habit, will you just want to become a better version of yourself? Please hit me up. You can reach me on falcad.nartos, that's falcadet, obnat.us or LinkedIn, whatever is easiest.
[00:15:01] Thanks and now, date of the first January. I mean, the way that I, again, often approach it is, because you go from this period of complete gluttony, almost often a month of it, where it's almost Christmas, so yeah,
[00:16:23] let's go out for drinks or let's eat that box of chocolates.
[00:17:22] you know, when you're really driven, and I'm a very driven person, you know,
[00:17:25] you like to get, if I say, into the space,
[00:17:29] you wanna get your work done,
[00:17:31] you wanna take off the to-do list as I say,
[00:17:32] you know, and you just in there, working, working, working.
[00:17:37] And you might find guilt, you know,
[00:17:40] might find that you feel guilty
[00:17:42] about not spending time with the family or the kids or whatever.
[00:17:45] And then comes the weekend,
[00:17:47] you might have to catch up on work as well, right? So, so what I do, nearly on a Saturday or Sunday, I go for a spinning class and then I spent an hour in the sauna afterwards. And that's just, you know, it's just for me. You know, that's my time and, you know, if someone wants to join me, that's fine. But it's just, you know, that's me time. So you were talking habits.
[00:19:01] Yeah. Well, you know, and what a really interesting point, which is kind of like, I've,
[00:20:02] because you get up early, it doesn't mean you're successful. It worked for me, you know, it worked for me
[00:20:04] because my kids were young and I actually got some exercise
[00:20:07] done in the morning and meditation works for me
[00:20:10] and you know, I teach meditation as well.
[00:20:13] So that all came together and it's great.
[00:20:17] But I'm not, I say religious about meditation in terms of like,
[00:20:21] or you know, following all the, you know,
[00:20:23] if I say Buddhist or whichever, you want to follow.
[00:20:26] It's more for me, it's a tool, of my week because I'm thinking I want to change something in my week and I'm not quite sure what I want to change. So maybe we have a full-off one from this session because what I want to do, so I've block out lunch between one and two religiously every day. So I've half an hour and a half because that's eating into productivity time. An hour's walk, for me, it can be incredibly productive in the, you know, I've got, you know, it helps me work through problems, come up with ideas.
[00:23:00] So you know, it's almost like I could way around. But yeah, I think like also the thing is it's almost, you know, it's easier to make a habit change. And you know, you sort of mentioned this, but if it fits in with your, well, your objectives, but your values as a person, for example, it's like, well, my value. I can't have a call with someone or meeting with someone after six unless they agree of course or you know before nine usually. So that time I need to maximize. So if I have that time maximized then then I'm winning right I'm ahead of other people. So the half and I was not a waste of time but I already cut an oil for lunch.
[00:25:43] We just think it's important because this is my's useful. It's a nice thing to do. And who used habits? It was James Clear, atomic habits. Yeah, you're not a huge fan of that book in life comes down to balance and moderation, right? Where you kind of need to, you know, you mentioned discipline. If I say I'm known for being very disciplined with myself. But I'm one of these people and I mentioned on a podcast before, right?
[00:28:20] You give me a back of mini X and I just eat them.
[00:28:23] I've always been like that.
[00:28:24] You know, you give me a packet of cigarettes.
[00:28:26] I smoked them. coaching techniques or just your common sense, right? As long as you can help that person. That's what is important. That's an interesting point, actually, sort of using common sense. Yeah, which seems like such a ridiculous thing to say, but at the same time, it seems like we live in an age where you have to say it. I read meditation is to go out on a bike ride and just switch off your brain, see what's the traffic, but no, then, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, and that's still fine. I mean, this is still meditation for me, Collins, right? I'm not judging anyone that goes like, oh, I can't sit down and not think about anything.
[00:31:03] You don't have to, if you can clear your mind
[00:31:06] and create more self-awareness is great. They want you to find the mental health professional who is right for you. You can feel to your search to highlight therapists with expertise where you need it, where you can pay to use their personalised matching service. The people who run well doing are experts in mental well-being and they also have loads of posts and interviews to keep your mental health in good shape. Take a look at taking something that I might not necessarily be motivated to do, which is get on the stationary bike. Here's like, well, actually the reward is that it's almost like I'm relaxing, so I'm watching something I enjoy,
[00:33:40] but I'm also doing something relatively productive
[00:33:44] in exercising. the commercial aspect. But he, you know, he's, his thing is like, what, what makes a great writer is you've got to be a huge reader. And he's like, I read 80% of the time, and I'll write 20% of the time. And you know, and he's like, also, I'll read anything and everything. So, and you know, like, I love the Jack Reed Chabooks. And as a result of, of sort of
[00:35:02] doing this course, I started reading them again. I mean, having said that, we just recently got it through a series. And once you're in a series, you binge watch it, right? Which one is it? It's manifest. I write with the plane. The same. Yes. Great when it runs on Netflix, but season two and three in the UK are on Sky now.
[00:36:22] And it's, oh, the usability of that platform is a fucking nightmare.
[00:36:26] So whoever designed that, just, you know, and it's, you know, it's like guess it. It's you sort of talk about how you enjoy work. I'm not saying I don't enjoy work, but I guess, you know, it's like, well, that is, I think if I didn't get up early, then I would stay up late. And if I stayed up late, I probably wouldn't get as much done. I mean, you know, that is an interesting point. It's like, why is there this, you know, cult of five a.m.
[00:39:02] And, you know, like, I sort of know, Stephen o'clock in the morning, I mean, unless I work different times on top calls. Yeah, you've got to get more international. Yeah. That's the thing to do. And I've had calls at 6 o'clock, 5, 13 in the morning, et cetera. I think that the challenge is you need to work out what works best for you.
[00:40:23] And I don't know whether 5M comes from, right? And it's just executive time, right? A lot of executives do that because as soon as it comes to nine o'clock or eight o'clock for probably executives, you're in there. You have a meeting after meeting, you have fires to put out, you have decisions to make. Probably don't have an hour lunch time like me, right?
[00:41:41] And you probably work at the seven or eight easily,
[00:41:44] which means your eight to change that, break it and create a new habit.
[00:43:04] But it's possible. That's what I'm saying, you always need o'clock at night to the airport if the flight is on time. Which means I'm probably not going to be in bed until just after midnight. I can't get up at 5 o'clock and I won't get up at 5 o'clock the next day. So I'm missing another gym session and it already bothers me. I mean, I don't let it bother me, but you know, because I'm so driven by my routine,
[00:44:22] but as to you, oh, don't beat yourself up.
[00:44:24] It's a routine doesn't work.
[00:44:26] You know, you sometimes have to compromise.
[00:44:27] And I'm, you know, I think this week? I woke up and I just was fucking naked. I mean, I did my back in last week, hadn't had a day result.
[00:45:45] So, Jim, I went back on the spinning on Sunday and I woke bothered to train. Yeah, I do 20 minutes. He said nine times out of 10 after 20 minutes, you'll be like, actually, yeah, I can do this. And then, you know, after 20 minutes, if you're still not feeling it, it's like, well, I gave it a go, which was terrible advice when I went out on my bike. And after 20 minutes, I thought, actually, I can't be bothered with this and realized I spent 20 minutes going
[00:47:02] downhill. So then at 40 minutes going up, I'll get back. I mean, if you need more advice,