Solo - Duo - Episode

[00:00:00] Welcome to the Man Up Man Down Podcast presented by Volker Ballueder and David Pawsey.

[00:00:12] We discuss the pressures and challenges faced by men approaching middle age that we're

[00:00:16] often too embarrassed to speak about with our friends.

[00:00:20] You can find this online at www.manupdown.com.

[00:00:26] Enjoy the show and don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review.

[00:00:35] So welcome to another episode of Man Up Man Down.

[00:00:40] So today is another solo or duo episode so it's just David Jossal today.

[00:00:46] Just two of us.

[00:00:48] That's a good joke.

[00:00:50] I'll go up that option which would just be him talking.

[00:00:53] I did say that I was going to let Volker do the intro and I wouldn't interrupt.

[00:00:59] We already chatted for a while.

[00:01:01] We should have just recorded that but anyway we talked about eclaidies and deliveries.

[00:01:06] Local deliveries because we support local people that deliver local boxes, local ex, local

[00:01:13] hens, local chickens, whatever which I think is a brilliant idea because I remember back

[00:01:18] in the days when I lived in London many months ago, 12 years ago, I was actually having

[00:01:24] a river, was a river fort, a veggie box and that was like very new and so the reason always

[00:01:33] blame my wife.

[00:01:35] She wasn't very experimental as vegetable so we ended up having lots of potatoes each week

[00:01:39] at the substitute so we eventually ended up not continuing.

[00:01:44] But yeah those were the days.

[00:01:46] Anyway David what are we talking about today?

[00:01:49] What are you talking about today?

[00:01:51] We could have...

[00:01:52] Well, I mean you're a little story there about living in London.

[00:01:59] Well essentially what we're going to be talking about is each other and that's for two

[00:02:04] reasons.

[00:02:05] One because you know humble brag we've picked up a lot of listeners since the early days

[00:02:12] when it was just us two rambling about different topics so we don't know how many of you

[00:02:19] don't actually know who we are or you know how the podcast came about but also I mean

[00:02:27] you know so often we'll have conversations and little tidbits will come up and I'm like

[00:02:30] I didn't know that.

[00:02:32] So you lived in London?

[00:02:34] I did live in London.

[00:02:36] Where did you live in London?

[00:02:39] So maybe I started with coming to the UK in 2001.

[00:02:43] No, no, no, just last year you lived in London.

[00:02:46] I didn't want to live in London.

[00:02:48] But yeah sorry.

[00:02:49] I'm here to hear your life story.

[00:02:51] Talk about that.

[00:02:52] So anyway so I moved to Aberdeen to finish my studies so I have a first class then to

[00:02:59] be some shearing sound.

[00:03:01] We kind of can engineer the degree and then I did my MBA met my wife and then we moved

[00:03:07] to London she moved to New Zealand I moved to London she came back to London and we lived

[00:03:13] in back in them.

[00:03:14] That was London so yeah officially Kent.

[00:03:18] Yeah, they're now in our degree remember that bit right?

[00:03:21] Yeah we did discuss that so I lived in back in them for good eight years so from a one

[00:03:26] bedroom to two bedroom to a two bedroom up down to up to down house which we bought

[00:03:35] and then my wife again she's a driver right as you can tell she wanted to move further

[00:03:42] out she wanted to move closer to the sea friends of ours moved down to where I lived now

[00:03:47] in Hassex just north of right.

[00:03:50] I liked the idea I hated the commute but I didn't know until you know anyway we don't

[00:03:56] have the commute anymore because it's full scope it and it's now going to London maybe

[00:04:01] once a week.

[00:04:03] But my main job is as a consultant and coach.

[00:04:07] Seeds consultant, seeds coach, personal coach podcast host and I don't know I do so many

[00:04:13] things I have a classic portfolio can be and I love it.

[00:04:18] So how worked in London as well didn't you?

[00:04:20] Yeah we'll come back as well we'll come back to that in a moment.

[00:04:24] How far away from Hassex from Brighton is assets seven miles I think ten kilometers

[00:04:30] right I reckon that's close and because we we funnily enough we looked at well we were

[00:04:39] about to buy a house in Beckham so around 2007 and then basically we had the credit crunch

[00:04:48] so the person buying a listener friends flat pulled out but our our the person we were

[00:04:55] buying off in Beckham she then said to actually had a change of heart I wanted to allow

[00:05:01] but then the buy pulled out anyway so yeah I ended up buying out a Lissia's friend and

[00:05:06] then yeah we stayed in London for a few more years.

[00:05:10] Where did other way you?

[00:05:12] I went to university in Kingston which I guess on your basis is London it was own sex

[00:05:20] yeah well but lived in Serberton I lived around there for about three years after university

[00:05:26] two two I got in my degree so that you know I was sort of saying about how we should do it

[00:05:32] a kind of chalk and cheese episodes oh yeah to highlight the differences so that there we go

[00:05:38] I got a two two in my degree in his letter to you and yeah and then me and some friends

[00:05:49] moved to Stockwell in London they unfortunately I was there sort of when well when you know for

[00:05:58] the bombings and the gear when the poor guy got shot it then moved up to Cappen High Street

[00:06:09] and then moved in with a Lissia in Tuting so yeah and then we moved out here to

[00:06:20] Turner's Hill just outside Crawley oh we've been here about 12 years now

[00:06:26] but yeah I mean that's sort of something that we have talked about I mean how do you feel like

[00:06:30] going back into London do you kind of get a thrill and do you miss it you know miss living there

[00:06:35] when you're there or always glad to get in and out.

[00:06:42] It's a funny one it depends on my mood so I started new contract recently

[00:06:47] and saw the guys for the first time in London and they're over shortage and I'm not a big

[00:06:51] fail of shortage to be honest. Oops they don't listen and it was actually really nice

[00:06:57] I really enjoyed today because it's it's a people you meet it's not the location you're in

[00:07:03] and we ended up in a pub in the evening and when stay evening and it was really busy in

[00:07:09] shortage and people were quite jolly at around six seven o'clock and I'm like wow you don't get

[00:07:18] that in Hassex. I mean not on a Wednesday night at seven o'clock I don't think so but I'm never

[00:07:24] out in Hassex yeah I think I think for me I mean what what we need to realise you know coming

[00:07:33] from Germany Germany has Hamburg Munich just with all Berlin etc. London or UK has London

[00:07:42] France has Paris right there's a very centralised location so a lot of work a lot of wells

[00:07:47] is distributed around one city so I feel like I have to be an proximity to London in order to

[00:07:55] have work and that's something I'm actively working against over the last few years so making

[00:08:01] conscious effort that I want to be completely location independent with my income so I don't have

[00:08:06] to go into London coming back to your question whether enjoy being in London I do like meeting

[00:08:13] people I like to get out of my little box I have here which is half a garage which we converted and

[00:08:19] I like to be with people I like to you know work with people I normally only work online face to face

[00:08:25] so it's nice to get out I the few I go into London the more I enjoy it so I enjoy going to

[00:08:32] St. Paul's is one of my most favourite buildings in the world I love sitting on the South spank you know

[00:08:38] I love you know cycling from London bridge over to shortage although you know I'm not the biggest

[00:08:43] shortage gap it's those moments I really really enjoy I've only had that in London but would I miss

[00:08:51] London no yeah I forgot the you you've got your Brunton haven't you see they don't have a

[00:08:58] brumpt to love that push but to all right well but you got yeah you bike I mean that I thought of

[00:09:03] a like here I mean I remember like when I worked at which and I lived in stock well I'd cycle it

[00:09:11] and my commute would be sort of going down to the river pass like the MI6 is it or MI5 or MI6

[00:09:20] building yeah then over I can't remember the name of the bridges but you know sort of over the

[00:09:27] bridge like through Westminster so you know houses of the Parliament then into Falkers Square

[00:09:33] into Piccadilly Circus and you know and every day I'd be like wow you know every my daily commute

[00:09:42] is you know things that a lot of people only ever see like on TV or in film I'm you know from

[00:09:49] culturester it was about to ask where you grew up yeah well yeah right in the city

[00:09:55] or in culturester yeah um Britain's Britain's first city is how they uh they brand

[00:10:02] also that's good well we are a city now but yeah basically it was sort of the Roman capital

[00:10:07] for Britain when they first arrived yeah we've now got city status but for decades like the branding

[00:10:15] of the town was Britain's oldest recorded town and then obviously they they wanted to start going

[00:10:21] for city status so they free branded as Britain's first town or Britain's first city which I just

[00:10:29] think is like two uncomfortably like Britain first city so you know uh makes a sound like a

[00:10:37] hello to the right wingers but sort of like 50 minutes on the train to Liverpool Street

[00:10:42] so you needed did you go to London well my sister went to nursing college um yeah in uh white

[00:10:50] chapel so yeah so when I'm from 15 sort of like any school holidays you know I'd go up and yeah stay

[00:10:58] with her yeah now my and like my mum's stepdad used to take us into London quite a bit to see

[00:11:05] shows so yeah I had a good grounding in the West End as a youngster in all the musicals

[00:11:12] I can't what kind of shows did you watch over uh see musicals yeah yeah Joseph

[00:11:17] do we see Phantom of the Opera you know just saying you know there was a way you were talking about it

[00:11:21] yeah you know like your your stepdad took you to show us on the West End well my mum's stepdad

[00:11:30] yeah but yeah well yeah but um yeah shows in the West End as you know could be different shows

[00:11:36] I've brought it yeah and say I right yeah yeah well I know that there's a very different culture

[00:11:42] around that sort of thing in Germany uh Germany is very often you know I'll prostitute

[00:11:47] spare Texas you know what should I say it's very regulated is that's what you were alluding to

[00:11:54] um that's well yeah no I was trying to be uh be very subtle so was I yeah

[00:12:04] yeah and I remember sort of when when I used to go into London like with well to stay with my sister

[00:12:11] or you know when we were younger with my parents always remember thinking oh yeah you know

[00:12:17] I'd love to live and work in London I'd love to sort of get on the tube and go to work

[00:12:22] and um and I don't know I guess I always had a love hate relationship with London because

[00:12:29] I get you know like there was a long time where I was temping and you know not earning much

[00:12:35] and especially when you got friends that have got you know earning more than you when you're in

[00:12:40] your year when teens you know yeah it can sort of be it can be a drain up on your resources shall we say

[00:12:49] yeah of course um but at the same time you know and then you know when I started doing better for

[00:12:54] myself and you know as I say working at which and worked at the FT then yeah you know got had some

[00:13:02] amazing experiences living in London but yeah I mean now I sort of uh but you know when

[00:13:09] me and Lissia met I guess oh and and sort of got to a point where we're talking about having children

[00:13:15] plan was we'll move out to Beckham and then you know start having children so Amelia was born

[00:13:22] in in the London in two-ting in fact but yeah then we sort of moved out here and yeah as I say

[00:13:29] the plan was always because we had sort of both had semi-rural backgrounds which I guess is where

[00:13:36] that sort of question about what I grew up came from side a bit of a mind blank for a while

[00:13:41] yeah you know in end our Oscars gets so sick of me saying it's so lucky to grow up around here but um

[00:13:50] yeah I mean like I can sort of walk out the house and you know there's just fields

[00:13:55] and the kids are sort of at an age now where they're like oh why don't we live in a town

[00:14:03] you know why do we live in this village in the middle of nowhere I guess you know they're all

[00:14:09] sort of I guess you know have a desire to like live and work in a city and then who knows

[00:14:18] hello it's Volker here I hope you enjoy this episode you might not realize that I have been

[00:14:25] coaching for almost a decade through both served parties and private lines do the time I've

[00:14:31] worked with brands such as General Electric Imperial brands DHL and Pepsi however this year

[00:14:40] I'm putting a big emphasis on growing my private coaching practice improving lives of middle-aged

[00:14:45] men in leadership positions so if you hit mid-life transition point and you might be a bit stuck

[00:14:51] or looking to improve your work life balance your career or productivity you want to build a new

[00:14:57] habit you just want to become a better version of yourself please hit me up you can reach me on

[00:15:04] Volker.natus that's Volker.at obnaet.us or LinkedIn whatever is easiest thanks and now back to the

[00:15:16] episode so it's funny you're saying that because my oldest he's very keen to go to Brighton

[00:15:24] with his coming up for 15 and I get it you know yes it's made say they go to Brighton I don't

[00:15:32] know actually know what they do besides eating chicken at Popeye and you know hanging out in

[00:15:36] in in in Churchill Square but I guess that's what I used to do right I grew up in the town of 80 000

[00:15:42] and we just hang out in the city watching people getting burgers so it makes Donald's kind of

[00:15:50] but my youngest he's 13 he's not keen he's not interested in tells he you know too busy

[00:15:59] but I totally get it I'm somewhere in between I think if it was just me and maybe me and the wife

[00:16:08] I would live in central London no bother but I think with family and probably for my mental

[00:16:17] health as well right it's nice to live somewhere where it's green you know we're you know I can go

[00:16:23] down to the local bakery and you know they remember me and you know because I go there every Friday

[00:16:27] to get my lunch my Friday treat so it's nice to live in a small community of you know many

[00:16:35] Arbine has six 10 000 maybe 12 000 with all the newly built but it's just a nice little town right

[00:16:43] you know it's safe yeah I mean you know so Amelia where Amelia goes to school but we've got

[00:16:49] you know we're we're right in the middle of Crawley and East Grinston um

[00:16:54] Amelia goes to school and East Grinston so yeah you know she always wants to go into town but

[00:16:59] I mean I guess sort of getting back to your comment of like I don't know what they do

[00:17:03] but I guess the fact is they're just away from their parents aren't they and they you know just

[00:17:09] which you don't understand it's yeah I know you wouldn't want to hang out with cool dudes like us

[00:17:17] exactly you know like we're podcast host stars you know you know it's celebrities yeah exactly you know

[00:17:26] like my my my youngest are you so so funny um so I just just reminded me he made a cheesecake in

[00:17:32] food tech this week and we had to buy his ingredients we had to go out late at night buy his

[00:17:38] ingredients and stuff and I said it says fresh fruit for the cheesecake I said I don't like fresh

[00:17:44] fruit on cheesecake I think it's a waste you know but it's up to you obviously it's your

[00:17:47] food tech project so he got an age and the reason he didn't get a nine was because he didn't put

[00:17:53] food on and he told his teacher who we actually know um yeah my dad said you know he didn't like

[00:17:59] food so I didn't think there was any point of putting it on I like brilliant you should get a

[00:18:03] tense for that right honestly you know bullshit but that's as well or some might say a squealer

[00:18:12] dropped you in it didn't he didn't have you back he was taken the fool for it ride on my I can take

[00:18:21] it I mean well I've been watching a lot of yellow stone recently which is sitting on tanner

[00:18:30] um you know like the great well flight well yellow stone park basically I think I'd be happy

[00:18:37] you know if I just lived in this you know a small lodge in the middle of nowhere but nothing around me

[00:18:45] but you know and as you say you can sort of work from anywhere but yeah as you know I sort of

[00:18:51] rent office space or desk space in an office because you know I'd quite like to sort of be

[00:18:59] surrounded by people I mean obviously I've not been able to get into the office recently

[00:19:04] but yeah I mean and I'm a I mean I think actually you pit the nail on the head really with like

[00:19:13] the less I go into London the more I enjoy it um yeah but I mean I think last time I went in

[00:19:20] was to see a band with my friends up in Camden I think the issue is though

[00:19:27] it's like well I'll see you came along she went straight off to the gig and because I would left

[00:19:33] left the kids on their own it's like they're first first time of being left um because you know

[00:19:40] they are 14 and 11 now so I think they're response enough to be left for an evening

[00:19:47] and a list of sort of like left straight after the gig so that must have been about half ten

[00:19:56] and I stayed for like you know a pint you know I'm not going to just have a run will be

[00:20:02] well I mean I reckon it might have been two but I've known but the no I mean the point is I was there

[00:20:11] less than an hour after a lissi left and basically I got home like three hours later just because

[00:20:19] I'd like just missed like the you know sort of the previous train so then it was like half an hour

[00:20:25] wait for like the next one um I might have been in 45 minutes but yeah yeah and then you get a slow

[00:20:34] train or you know yeah it's um and that's I think that's why I prefer sort of I prefer going to

[00:20:43] Brighton um for my kind of like town slash city yeah fix really and no what you mean with trains in

[00:20:51] London because I mean for me it's a bit longer right it's it's 50 minutes of the train to get home

[00:20:56] and I don't know all that I got stuck because people jumped in front of the train and you know

[00:21:00] or people died on the train or the train was out of service or doesn't stop at my station

[00:21:07] whatever the fuck right I mean you know this is all respect to to to those people that um

[00:21:15] you know when both these incidents what what I'm trying to say is there's constantly something

[00:21:19] on the trains right so train there's a train system in the UK and to be honest the Germany is not

[00:21:24] much better it's so unreliable which means a friend of mine once said it to me and then

[00:21:31] was when we used to commute five days a week he said Fulka whenever I finished work I'm getting

[00:21:36] on the first train out in our direction he says I don't even bother you know wondering whether

[00:21:42] it stops at my station or if you jump on the first train towards Brighton and then he works out when

[00:21:48] he needs to change yeah almost you get out of a fucking disaster zone right like it's just train

[00:21:53] out and it sometimes feels like that or you know like like the stopping services you know

[00:21:59] the better line you know A's a seats are awful you know they're made for mitchets you I can't even

[00:22:05] sit in the normal seats and you're sitting so low you're feeling falling asleep right and then stops

[00:22:12] every two minutes and it's just that comfortable you know they're they're they're actually trains

[00:22:17] built for for city commuting not like cross country commuting and it drives me potty I mean don't get

[00:22:24] me started on trains and that's a bit I don't miss right so I hardly ever stay out in London longer

[00:22:30] than nine o'clock A because I go to bed at 10 lits the latest but also I never take the last train

[00:22:36] home I'm never taking the chance you know although I know you know compared to years ago could have

[00:22:43] forward a hotel in London right so it wouldn't be a big deal just to stay overnight like as I said when

[00:22:49] when I went in there's a day for my clients the first time I met my client face-to-face

[00:22:54] fucking train delayed by 20 minutes right so there was I I'm really sorry I know it's the first time

[00:23:01] we meeting each other it's not me that's unreliable it's a fucking train company yeah and he goes

[00:23:07] like oh don't worry we all you know and I'm like I appreciate that you know they were really nice

[00:23:13] and and I was I mean it was five minutes late in the end because I cycled quicker but it's just

[00:23:18] you're out of control and you know I hated to come in late for meetings just because of the

[00:23:23] trains because it's like shit on me and you always set the same excuse right I was the trains

[00:23:29] and I don't know but I mean I used to this excuse as well of course but yeah it's just

[00:23:33] yeah that's a bit I don't like yeah thanks for bringing that up

[00:23:38] but yeah I mean that's that sort of why what I used to cycle just because

[00:23:44] well I mean there's two reasons but yeah I just used to hate it's like I'm paying to be stuck up

[00:23:51] against someone's own pit and you you like that sort of yeah I pay for that sort of thing now

[00:24:00] but um can I take your t-shirt off

[00:24:07] but um Northern line but I mean sort of going around the Northern line so we slaughtered together

[00:24:14] yeah I know what you mean I'm going I don't miss a tube so to be honest I talk over you

[00:24:22] I want to get a word in man up man down is sponsored by well-doing there's someone who has

[00:24:27] seen a counsellor for a number of years I think their approach is great they want me to find the

[00:24:31] mental health professional who is right for you you can filter your search to highlight therapists

[00:24:36] with expertise where you need it but you can pay to use their personalized matching service

[00:24:42] the people who run well doing are experts in mental wellbeing and they also have loads of posts

[00:24:46] and interviews to keep your mental health in good shape take a look at well-doing the walk

[00:24:52] the the bikes since you mentioned the bike I already started cycling in London after lockdown

[00:24:57] so it was after lockdown I had a job in in shorter time and if we'll either go up to

[00:25:04] ferry then then at 20 minutes walk or get it up at out of London bridge and then take the

[00:25:09] fucking other line which all has always been full always been packed and I don't think it has changed

[00:25:15] and I'm like I'm not going to do that so I get out of London bridge get on my little

[00:25:20] foldable bike which I bought off eBay because I wasn't sure if I liked it or not 130 quid

[00:25:25] I easily saved that money now in terms of you know bus or tube fears and within 10 minutes

[00:25:31] I'm over in shortage you know got honked at once or twice and it's just so much more fun than when

[00:25:39] I have a club membership over and so it takes me 20 minutes to get over to sole from from shortage

[00:25:45] no matter what's the traffic right yeah it's not like oh yeah I need to take the tube up to King's

[00:25:50] cross then down to Piccadilly like what's a fuck you know on the bike 20 minutes you're there

[00:25:56] and yeah never look back and in London has so many great cycling lanes as well though so it's

[00:26:03] really safe well I mean like as I said earlier that you know when I was temping living in London

[00:26:12] there was like one week where I was literally thought I can't afford to buy a travel card

[00:26:17] and but I'd got a new temp job and I was like oh well I'll just and I was a set of things

[00:26:23] when I was living in stock well and this was over it was it was one of the college it's an imperial

[00:26:32] college anyway it was sort of one of the universities or college and sort of write out an East London

[00:26:39] and I was just like right well I'll cycle it and sort of basically went over Tower Bridge

[00:26:45] and you know sort of turn right effectively and and I got there and I'm like wow it's actually

[00:26:51] taken me the same amount of time as it would on the tube I feel amazing you know and yeah

[00:26:59] like as you say never look back but it probably wouldn't surprise you to know though I did come off

[00:27:05] my bike a few times it doesn't surprise me it surprised me I haven't come off my bike yet

[00:27:13] at a taxi driver the other day he was cheeky just because the toilet rest for him didn't mean

[00:27:18] the toilet rest for me right I don't know it was it was a cherry green by the time I got through

[00:27:25] so he had a big chord me and I'm like if that makes you feel better that's fine but then because he

[00:27:30] you know pretended to cut across um I obviously had to slow down so I had to make him wait a little

[00:27:36] bit longer I enjoyed that but it is a road rage in London right um let's say I think it's better

[00:27:42] now with all the cycle paths but yeah but yeah but then again it's weird like when I go into London

[00:27:49] now I'm just like my god I would not cycle here really and I don't know whether that's

[00:27:58] kind of just being older um you know like well I remember once I got pulled over by the police

[00:28:06] because I cycle through a red light and and they're for yeah you know they gave me a good talking

[00:28:13] and they said they're like if you got kids I was like no they're like what do you want to have some

[00:28:19] one day in them like probably yeah so well you won't have any if you keep doing that but you know

[00:28:24] and like I'm guessing I don't know whether that question about kids was the kind that make me think

[00:28:29] but it's almost like but I remember um I then sort of after Amelia was born I've got a job

[00:28:38] well in Kingston but I used to sort of cycle from um two thing like cycle the other way

[00:28:46] and like came off once but well that was due to poor bike maintenance but um I guess rather than

[00:28:54] sort of reckless cycling and you know in that sort of though what kind of set me off on my endurance

[00:29:04] journey in the um you know I was just sort of I remember one day when well I was I was working at

[00:29:13] which nice to get up and swim then cycle nine miles to like work was it seven miles well

[00:29:21] between seven and nine miles and I'll go for a run at lunchtime and then uh I remember like

[00:29:29] one of the uh the ladies and the office just saying oh uh what are you training for and I was

[00:29:34] just kind of like well I'm just doing it you know to like try and these weight um and it I don't

[00:29:42] know they hadn't even occurred to me that about like entering an event or anything when I was

[00:29:48] like working in Kingston sort of got that that's when Alyssa you've got pregnant with Amelia

[00:29:54] and I guess I'd already decided that um I was gonna give up work and become a stay at home dad

[00:30:02] and I was like oh I'm not going to be cycling anymore so I'm gonna have to sort of get into running

[00:30:06] so I can you know run with the buggy um and sort of ended up like well entering an event in Kingston

[00:30:13] that the mayor was sponsoring um because I was working at Kingston Council in the communications

[00:30:19] department then just sort of did that and I was like wow that was you know a bit of a buzz

[00:30:26] then into the 10k in London and then I think one of my friends was doing a half marathon in Norwich

[00:30:36] which actually ended up getting cancelled but I was just kind of like oh you know yeah maybe

[00:30:41] I'll go a half marathon and I hadn't ever sort of thought I want to do a marathon and yes sort

[00:30:47] of did a half marathon now actually funnily enough that one got that got cancelled because of like

[00:30:54] snow but at the point I was like well if I'm you know training for a half marathon I thought there's

[00:31:01] never going to be any time that'll be fitter so I might sign up for a marathon I got injured

[00:31:08] got injured for that one as well but during that time managed to like do a half marathon

[00:31:14] but yeah and then ended up like entering like a duathlon which is like a cycle well cycle run no

[00:31:22] run cycle run yeah um and I think I came third from last in that just got in a head of this guy

[00:31:30] that had an injury but yeah just sort of like well I was just like wow that's amazing and then

[00:31:35] ended up um sort of going on to do triathlon and then went on from there but yeah I just sort of

[00:31:43] think if I you know it's almost like that I don't know slide well you know like butterfly effect

[00:31:51] where I'm like well if you know if I'd had a better job or you know if I'd be earning more money

[00:31:57] and hadn't had been able to afford a travel card that day or wouldn't have ever have like got on my

[00:32:02] bike um yeah carried on from there but uh you've got better sleigh effect you've done a marathon

[00:32:10] aren't you I've done one or two marathons sweet yeah see he always talked about it and had a big

[00:32:20] mouse and my wife did one I said you know I said I don't even want to do one I said get hooked on it

[00:32:27] that I kind of had to do one you know just approved to myself and everyone else yeah I did one

[00:32:33] was relatively fit the second one doing lockdown and put a muscle

[00:32:37] so that was been a really good time and then I just did the London one and then I I stopped

[00:32:44] you see you've done the lunch with the marathon yeah yeah so I did the virtual and I did one in

[00:32:49] down uh it's a Kingston teams river I write yeah yeah um and then I did the London virtual one

[00:32:59] and then I did the London one wrong egg enough I mean never say never I want to do in New York

[00:33:04] so anyone listening and go oh yeah for it can we get you into New York I would train for the

[00:33:09] New York marathon I think that would be amazing is that getting in there the is that one you have

[00:33:15] to qualify for yeah I think so by now so I probably never gonna do London and maybe it's for

[00:33:22] the better because I'm not getting younger am I yeah I mean tonight part of me is what I want to

[00:33:29] do the London marathon I tonight I mean because I've done am to damn twice their flu pass they take it

[00:33:39] yeah I remember much of it yeah and I've done I did like a um 37 and a half mile

[00:33:50] traumatic and into like that was an off road one I got blister within like the first sort of five

[00:33:56] miles um let me off this but oh man that and sort of going going off topic I mean clearly not

[00:34:03] but we've really had a topic about to say you could you could go off topics there's none but um

[00:34:10] yeah like that that was sort of I don't want to say one of the most defining moments in my life

[00:34:17] because I was actually training for another endurance event which well London to Brighton

[00:34:23] challenge um which is yeah 60 miles and you can either do it in one go or do it over two days like

[00:34:33] 35 miles one day yeah 28 miles the next day to cycle or to run and the halfway point is turn

[00:34:42] a seal so you can like camp at turn a seal and I'm like well yeah I'll do it over two days sleep in my

[00:34:48] bed but yeah so like as part of my training for that I had to do like I just got fed up of like

[00:34:57] running sort of you know because I was building up distances and I had to do I was meant to do a

[00:35:02] marathon one day and then a thing like 10 miles the next day um but like my triathlon club had

[00:35:09] like an event going on um on the Sunday so basically I was I was like oh let me just see if there's

[00:35:17] like a marathon but I can enter on the Saturday just to sort of you know incentivise me to do it

[00:35:26] but actually found there like an event that had a marathon but they had like the ultra event so I was

[00:35:32] like oh well I might as well do see if I can kind of do that 37 and a half miles but it was like

[00:35:39] on a loop on the circuit and basically as I came in sort of for my final lap the winner of the

[00:35:48] ultra came in so he's like one lap ahead of me and then this woman sort of came up behind me

[00:35:54] and she said to a marshal I was doing the ultra but I don't think I'm you know I'm just going to

[00:35:58] cool it quits at the marathon and I was just kind of like wow you know I'm so far behind because

[00:36:05] this guy's finished the ultra she's pulled out you know so there's no shame in it and I was just

[00:36:13] kind of like no I'll be so annoyed if I like and I thought if I could just get around that corner

[00:36:19] then I'm kind of like committed and you know and and he was such a mental battle but that's what

[00:36:26] it is but you know especially like on a loop as well you know it's like well I can you know I can

[00:36:32] like just give it now or just put myself through like another kind of like a couple of hours of pain

[00:36:41] yes that's just always something that I kind of look back on when I'm struggling with something

[00:36:47] yeah I mean it's it's a mental struggle right it's the you know physically you usually fit

[00:36:53] right you train anyone can train that I think there's a mental struggle is where you know it gets real

[00:37:00] mmm bubble waste said though well I guess because I know because I got injured doing it but it's

[00:37:07] almost like getting to the start line is the hardest part you know putting in the training is

[00:37:12] the hardest part and you know if you've done the training then the race you know takes care of itself

[00:37:20] yeah so that's what I mean right with a physical bit you could do the physical bit if you get there

[00:37:25] then it's just mental in the more you know yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah or because you I don't know

[00:37:32] I always had some niggled some pains you always think about giving up and I did anyway we've done it

[00:37:42] yes and you know and a master thing you know I remember sort of thinking well you know

[00:37:49] I don't have a burning desire to do a marathon but you know I'd rather be an old man saying

[00:37:57] I did a marathon rather than I wish I'd done a marathon and you know yeah as you say done it now

[00:38:05] so swimming the channel is the next one for me not for me there's a tunnel you know that

[00:38:12] yeah yeah but I mean I don't know when this oh yeah no so glad in the episode that went out

[00:38:23] fairly recently yeah obviously he talked about the ports of the aisle of white swims I've

[00:38:29] actually been looking into that so yeah I think that's going to be my next challenge but yeah I mean

[00:38:37] I'd like any challenges planned yeah well I'm just putting myself through as you know what a

[00:38:43] course for psychotherapy and you know even there right I'm gonna be qualified to summer so

[00:38:47] that was therapist and I'm like do I want to do another three four years training just become

[00:38:52] the psychotherapist will I want to work as a psychotherapist can I don't know it's the only

[00:38:58] sense but that's enough of a challenge for me you know I can't then train for anything

[00:39:03] that's not new it's just time right you need to you need to pick your battles but you know what

[00:39:09] where you spend your time on yeah but I know you're you're keen swimmer and you know you

[00:39:15] you like to swim well and you know I guess I'm trying to get over my injury and get back to fitness so

[00:39:23] you haven't mentioned your injury once yet so yeah and I want to sleep at there mysteriously some

[00:39:29] people will know about it some people won't but yeah I think highly anyone will not know about it but

[00:39:37] anyway well I think on that note but I think there was a good good shot well there was useful

[00:39:43] for the ones that they were listening because you know I guess just a little bit of insight into who

[00:39:48] we are hopefully anyway but we didn't talk about work and I think that there was kind of

[00:39:55] deliberate because if you if you interested what we're doing for for living you can always go and

[00:40:00] link to look us up you know hint hint well but also look up the man up man down page on LinkedIn

[00:40:09] give us a lot yeah and yeah exactly we like the all-seller community we have a community as well

[00:40:14] we have a WhatsApp group which lacks still a few members so it would be good to get a couple more

[00:40:20] side-ups get a little bit more interaction going as it is you know always like slow start and the

[00:40:27] more people we have joining you know the more everyone gets out of it it's just a group to you

[00:40:32] know just talk about accidents and you know cycling swimming and anything you as a man want to

[00:40:41] talk about it and you know a bit of bunter a bit of laughter and yeah so we put all that in the show

[00:40:48] lots and obviously a supportive ear or fingers but yeah that's what it's there for yeah you don't

[00:40:55] type this year yes well I've had to learn you know because obviously since Maxident I've been in

[00:41:03] the full body cast so my head is there anything but I can be I shouldn't joke about that because

[00:41:07] I was an old let you mention it I was on a ward with people that were in that state so anyway

[00:41:14] so it's all about gratitude of my injury was bad but it can't be just not worse

[00:41:20] gratitude is the NHS right well not to my local GP but that's a whole other story

[00:41:27] I think we'd definitely wrap up now for legal reasons

[00:41:35] thanks for listening to this week's episode feel free to reach out to Folka or David via our

[00:41:40] website www.manupdown.com or podcast at manupdown.com with any feedback or to let us know what

[00:41:48] topics you'd like us to cover in the future here you again soon